“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse.” Gary Chapman in The Five Love Languages.
After twenty-eight years of marriage, I can attest to the power in the statement above. But, I can also assure you this works in other relationships, especially business dealings.
Want to impress a client, or partner with a co-worker to finish a project? Learning that different people have different needs can move you up the success ladder. I’ve studied human personality for twenty years, and becoming a Certified Personality Trainer has been one of my secrets. But what if you’re not studied up, and you don’t have time to take a crash course?
Don’t panic, here’s a sound-byte glimpse into the needs of each human personality. Remember — these are needs — not simply wants. If you try to give someone else what you’d like to have, it won’t work unless they are of the same temperament.
- Popular Sanguine – Loud, talks a lot, thinks out loud, forgetful, tends to repeat themselves, and people-minded. This personality needs to feel popular. They need attention, appropriate physical touch, and something fun to look forward to.
- Powerful Choleric – Loud, not afraid to talk when they have something to say, thinks out loud, impatient, fast decision maker, and work-minded. These folks need to feel powerful. They need something to lead, a problem to solve, and credit for saving the day.
- Perfect Melancholy – Quiet, skeptical of other’s motives, thinks long before speaking, organized, and work-minded. These analytical minds need everything to turn out perfect. They need private time to think and plan, boundaries that aren’t crossed, a place to process sensitive emotions, and the chance to finish what they start.
- Peaceful Phlegmatic – Quiet, afraid of getting in trouble, thinks hard, if they ever speak what’s really on their mind, easy-going, patient, and people-minded. This group needs comfort at all costs. They need pressure-free minutes to process questions asked of them, people to help, one-on-one time with those they respect, and a relaxed atmosphere with people who like them.
Just a little observation can help you understand what personality type you’re interacting with. Invest your time and energy, with sincerity, into their needs, and it will take you far. No matter what category we fall into, everyone needs encouragement and empathy. Learn what’s important to another, help them fulfill their desires, and your own life will naturally improve. At work and at home.
What can you do to encourage someone else today?
Anita FreshFaith @ Work
Psalm 10:17a (NIV)
You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.
Photo Courtesy of gagasisterhood.com
Anita Agers-Brooks is a Business Coach, Certified Personality Trainer, Communications Specialist, speaker, and writer. She lives in Missouri.