We’re in a record breaking heat wave at the time of this writing.
So looking through photos I took when outside temps hovered at eleven degrees below zero seems surreal. I must focus to recall the erie silence when I stepped into a white world where few dared venture out. It takes concentrated effort to remember the sensation of fluids freezing inside my nostrils each time I breathed in the frigid air. I can hardly remember the hard crunch under each footstep. If there were scents, my nose and my mind seem purified of their existence. Jet stream winds thrust their fierce fingers across the snowy landscape, and doodled on its crust.
And so it often is in our relationships.
Conflicts can take us from hot to cold. In little time, we have trouble recalling the details that brought us to this cooling place. Why do icy glares replace our warm hugs? How does arctic silence stifle shared laughter we’ve known in the past? We miss peace, even while we struggle with justification, anger, and pride.
It’s easy to imagine how we would react, until we are thrust into that frigid place of broken relationships. But once an emotional snowstorm happens to us, what we imagine is often not what we do. Instead of banding together, we hunker in our corners alone. Over time, our hearts shrivel into a hard crystallized ball. This is the way of many a relationship rift. And something I’m working hard to overcome in my own life.
Dealing head-on with the root problem is the only way to truly heal a fractured relationship. But it takes courage and a determination to overcome our fears.
- We fear forgiveness means it’s okay for someone to hurt us, and will open the door for others to do the same.
- We fear being wrong, and looking foolish.
- We fear being used, and offering forgiveness only to experience betrayal again.
- We fear insincerity in the other party.
- We fear giving up more than someone else does.
- We fear the ridicule of outsiders looking in.
- We fear we are unable to maintain our part of the resolution.
Hebrews 10:18 (NIV)
And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.
Anita Agers-Brooks is a Business Coach, Certified Personality Trainer, Productivity Specialist, Certified Team Training Facilitator, Marketing Specialist, national speaker, and author. She lives in Missouri with her husband Ricky.
She’s passionate about business with integrity, healthy relationships, and issues of identity. She travels the country teaching others from her personal experiences and research.